is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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