Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
