I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
