its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
