why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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