So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
