Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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