Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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