she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
