moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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