I hope mine doesn't look like that
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
