So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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