you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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