My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
