I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
