The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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