Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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