I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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