Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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