Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
