I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
