I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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