So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
MIDGETS
????
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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