dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
