p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
