I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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