Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
