Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
