She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
