used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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