I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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