Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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