he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
