I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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