the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
