My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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