I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
