do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My pussy is not your playground.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
