May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
