also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
