Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
