I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize