Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
