i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
