Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
