1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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