What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
