so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
