I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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