If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
